Fact. A swimming pool is not just ‘an expensive hole in the ground' and it will not just take care of itself if you whack in a couple of chlorine tabs. It's a complicated micro-system and a luxury. But one so worthwhile during our Riviera's wonderfully long summers. Well those wonderfully long summers we had in the old days before our climate turned all ‘Welsh'.

A swimming pool is not only a valuable addition to any home regarding the property's market value it's also an ‘essential' investment if you have children. Think of how many school holiday hours and weekends you can amuse your little blighters at home ‘for free' instead of competing with tourists for a couple of square metres of stony beach?

So starting with the very obvious. You need a flat garden. You may snigger but so many of us have the classic fruit growers bumpy terraced ‘terrains' and have to be a little more creative when finding an ideal pool-space. The bigger always being the better. And areas with a lot of land movement can mean nasty leaks in the pipes and the concrete walls of the traditionally-built pool. One pisciniste (a pool, not a drinking, expert) came to study my leaking pool and shook his head sadly and wisely before uttering that the swimming pools of Saint Jeannet and its shaky environs were all ‘condamnées' which I found a little alarming to say the least. But he's right, the land moves a lot around here. So make sure you spend the very little extra money on flexible rather than rigid water pipes. It will save you a lot of headaches and money in the future.

So you've found yourself a ‘flat' bit of garden or had a plot professionally levelled-off. Now what? Well, you will need to decide on whether to dig a classic pool (you will need planning permission from your local Mairie) whose concrete walls are finished off with either a plastic liner (cheaper but more fragile) or mosaic tiling. Or whether to install a less permanent and much less expensive above-ground pool (‘piscine hors sol'). You could also consider something in-between and ask your pisciniste what he's got in the way of a ‘coque'. Sounds cheap. But actually this fibreglass swimming pool insert will set you back seven thousand Euros and upwards. And do take into account its size for transport. It comes pre-formed from the factory but if you live down a tiny lane your coque'n'truck may not make it all the way to your garden. Very disappointing on D-day and once the hole has been dug at vast expense. A couple I know were planning to build a pool using a coque on a piece of unclaimed neighbouring land (they would buy it but they can't find the owner. Swear). And they were planning to do this quietly ‘in the night'. I quickly pointed out that the entire lane of ‘nosy' neighbours might just notice a giant blue coque being noisily and dramatically craned into the garden from the back of a massive truck. They're now choosing a more discreet option. Which I suggest you do too if you don't want everyone to know you're building a pool for whatever strange reasons.

An above-ground pool, the quickest, cheapest and needs no planning permission option, can actually work very well on terraced gardens. The reason being is that you can install it on a lower level terrace and then hide the rather uninspiring exterior by building an attractive terrace around it. Aim to have the pool terracing meet the garden level immediately above. It will then look as though your pool is ‘on the flat'.

Okay, so now you have your lovely pool with its pump not too far away and in a proper shelter, so all you need to do is fill it with water, get naked and jump in? Well firstly you must decide on what type of water you'd like. Classic chlorinated, smooth salt or optimum oxygenated.

Pure chlorine is efficient and classic. And the cheapest. It's just not nice on the skin, hair or eyes. But if your pool is very well maintained and you can keep the chlorine levels low it is the most commonly available option and does keep the water completely sanitised. The fact that chlorine was the first chemical to be used for warfare during WW1 should not put you off in any way.

The most expensive option is oxygenated or a purification system using copper ions which kill any bacteria. It's wonderful in that it's 100% chemical free. You also don't need to shower after swimming as the water is akin to bottled mineral water in quality. Though this does not mean that you and your kids should then consider your pool as a ‘giant bath'. That's just not pleasant. Especially for your visitors.

In my opinion the somewhere in between salt option is a good compromise. As even though the salt is turned into a form of chlorine it's much nicer on the skin. The system monitors and cleans itself and you only need to invest once for the changeover. I'm in the process of converting my old pool (along with replacing the old, leaky rigid pipes for the more forgiving flexible ones) into a salt pool. The small piece of digital machinery that I'm adding to the existing pump costs just over 1,000 Euros. (But you would spend that much in a few years on product for a chlorinated pool). It will then cost roughly another €500 for installation and to kick-start the new system. This will all be done by your pisciniste who will add between 50 and 100 kilos of rock salt (depending on the size of your pool) which should be included in your conversion ‘forfait'. And now you have nothing to do for 6 months except have fun. The machine does everything for you. Except have fun. And salt pools are a must-have if you're blonde as it means no more green hair. Pointing out and laughing unkindly at poor chlorine ‘green tops' will sweeten the fact that you've just spent more money on your swimming pool.

And according to French security laws (2004) you will also have to fence off your lovely new garden addition or install a special pool cover or an alarm (all to AFNOR standards). Though don't panic and automatically go for a prison-security fencing affair topped with razor bladed wire (remember the goal is 'kid-friendly') banged up against the sides of your pool.  Your security fencing can be aesthetic while still being practical and it can be built away from the pool as long as the pool itself is not accessible by a child. If your fencing is at least a metre high and has a child-proof safety latch on the gate you will avoid an accident and a very hefty fine of 45,000 Euros. Non-negotiable.

If you still haven't been put off by the cost, the maintenance, the danger and the nosy neighbours and family members popping round a little too often during the summer months, take the plunge and build or install a pool. Or if you're lucky enough to already have a pool think about changing its filtering system to something less chemically harsh. After all there is no better cure for summer hang-overs than jumping straight from bed and into a blissfully reviving Riviera Blue Espresso.

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